To get the most out of your membership of any dating site, you need to be doing certain things - and not doing others!

Lets start with how you can attract the most interest in YOU.

Your Profile

Your profile is your chance to tell people about yourself, and it is one of the most important factors in your success on any dating site. A good profile will generate interest in you, while a bad one will have people staying away in droves!

So what makes a good profile?

• Tell the truth about your age, weight, height, body type and so on, or you are just wasting everyone's time. Remember, everyone is attracted to different things and there are definitely people out there who will find you attractive just as you are. Be PROUD of who you are!
• Upload at least one good, CURRENT photo (be PROUD of who you are, remember?!)
• Most dating sites give you plenty of space to tell people about yourself, and filling this in properly is really important. Use the opportunity to say a little about yourself, who you are, why you are on this site and what you are looking for. It doesn't have to be funny, and it doesn't have to be a brilliant piece of writing, but make it honest. Write it on a word processor first, and spell check it too, then just cut and paste it onto the website.
• Use the other features of the site such as uploading a video profile to really make your profile stand out.

Get these things right and before you know it you will have potential dates contacting you with winks and messages!

Searching

The searches you carry out will find you potential dates that meet the age and location you specify, and on most dating sites you can do a search where you can specify criteria such as religion, smoker, children etc.

Being too picky can seriously limit your chances of finding a match, especially if you live in a rural area. So, if you are not getting many results from your searches, consider looking at profiles of people that:

• are further away than you would prefer;
• are younger (or older) than you would prefer;
• don't have photos on their profile (some people are shy, while others are useless with technology and can't figure out how to upload one!).

And, when you find someone you like in a search, don't wait for them to contact you - get in touch with them! (Do you see how this works? If everyone waits for the other person to make the first move, then ......!)

Contacting potential dates

A 'wink' or 'nudge' or 'ice-breaker' (different sites have different names for this feature, but most have something like it) can indeed break the ice, but don't just 'wink' at men or women that you are interested in and expect them to get straight back in touch with you - most people on the site will ignore you, as you are simply not putting in any effort.

Instead, 'wink' by all means, but then follow it up with a proper, personalised message. Your message should ideally mention specific details you liked about their online profile, and invite them to look at your profile and reply if they like what they see.

Your first message should be an introduction, nothing more. Don't invite people out on dates in your first message to them - getting to know each other a little first by exchanging a few messages is a much better idea!

Even online, where things happen much faster than in the real world, you still need to let a little time pass to build a rapport by exchanging messages with each other before you consider meeting up!

Get all of this right, and the next step is arranging that first meeting!

See what you should do before meeting someone for the first time - read our Online Dating Safety Tips.